Ice Cubes Recipe

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A Love Letter to Time Warner Cable

Yes, corporations are people Time Warner, and I think I’m in love with one. Seriously.  If you were a woman, I’d give you the sloppiest of wet kisses.  And if I were a woman, I’d want to have a whole litter of your children (we could name the first two Damien and Sauron, after your founding directors). Read more…

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"Imagine a million lunatics wandering the streets mumbling to themselves. Write it all down and put it on the web. Congratulations, you've just created the blogosphere."

The Urban Dictionary

A Conversation With My 12 Year Old Self

An all time favorite…

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Sun Cafe: Raw, but in a Good Way

So my GF and I are relaxing on the couch when right out of nowhere she blurts out “Let’s go to this Vegan place I just found on HappyCow!!!”.  Startled by her unbridled zeal, the remote shoots out of my hand and I fumble for the recovery.  Then faster than hummus through a goose, she loads up the restaurant’s menu and hands me her iPad. Read more…

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"If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans"

Woody Allen

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Hooters: Wings, Fries, and a Side of T&A

Full disclosure: I loathe chain restaurants and am not exactly a fan-boy of bar chow either, thus Hooters is the kind of place I generally try and avoid (like the plague).  But when a friend of mine who absolutely loves this place invited another buddy and I to join him here for lunch, I relented and drove over.  After all, you only live once, right?

Since I had never eaten here before, I was a bona fide Hooters virgin and had absolutely no idea what to expect.  As I walked up to the restaurant I tried to conjure up an image in my mind of the scene inside:  Would I be greeted by half-naked college coeds immersed in lasers and fog, gyrating on stripper poles and seductively gnawing on steaming hot wings? Read more…

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My One Night Stand with Cheetah’s

Yes, I’ve been to a Vegas strip club.  But I promise I’m not the D-Bag you may take me for.  Read on and I’ll try and make my case (if my GF reads this, I’m a dead man).

You see, it’s not my fault;  I was actually dragged here by a friend a while back.  She and her fiancee were engaged that night and wanted to hit a strip club to celebrate (yeah, makes absolutely no sense to me either but hey, that’s how she rolls).  So we left the safety and comfort of the Bellagio and asked a cabby to “take us to the hottest strip club in Vegas” (based on the look on his face, I don’t think we were the first to make that request).

Full disclosure: I was a strip club virgin, having made it to my 40s without so much as a lap dance.  I had never paid for female attention nor the simulation of it, but as I was recently single I was open minded.  And here I was in Vegas with some friends who wanted to take a walk on the wild side.  To steal a quote from Risky Business: “What the f–k”. Read more…

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BluePrint: My Juice Fast Journey

So about three months ago my GF talked me into doing BluePrint’s 24-hour juice cleanse with her.  It sounded kind of cool and new age:  You order a set of six freshly squeezed magic juice concoctions, delivered in a refrigeration container expressed shipped out of New York.  I figured, “So I drink liquids for 24 hours;  How bad can that be?”.  Plus, I get bragging rights on Yelp afterwards.  I’m in.

I opted to do their “Renovation Cleanse” which included two green juices, a pineapple juice, lemonade, a beet juice, and cashew milk (WTF?).  Each bottle is 16oz and 100% raw and organic. Yum.

We decided to start this marathon on a Saturday morning.  You drink one bottle every two or three hours and hope you’re still alive to eat breakfast the next day. Read more…

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A Dark and Stormy Night at Traxx

(in the voice of Fred MacMurray / Double Indemnity)

I was in a dark mood when I arrived at the station.  The Dame was trouble, plain and simple. I knew it when I first laid eyes on her and I knew it now. Nothing but trouble.

I paused at the entrance, wondering aloud, “Who’s the predator and who’s the prey?”. But the wheels were in motion and there was no turning back. Read more…

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